Kathy Wade - Courtship/War

Courtship
Kathy met John in her first year at the University of Minnesota and just like many others he was greatly attracted to her as she was a ‘beautiful woman’ (key passage page 21). John was older than Kathy and when they first met he said “the trick then was to make her love him and never stop” (Key Passage Page 32). To John’s surprise Kathy never stopped loving him. They loved each other so much that they planned their future together, which involved marriage, children and Verona.

At University John began spying on Kathy because he felt her life was “Fiercely private, fiercely independent” (Key Passage Pg 33). After time, Kathy realises John has been spying on her but decides to do nothing about it because she believes it’s out of love. “Kathy knew he had these secrets, things he wouldn’t talk about. She knew about the spying. Maybe I’m wrong but it was like she needed to be part of it. The whole sick act of his” (Key passage Pg 97).

As their relationship develops it becomes distant and Kathy feels that John is manipulating her to do what he wants. This was shown when she became pregnant, he told her “they were young… Plenty of time” (key Passage 158-159). This caused their relationship to dampen even further because “they never talked about it”. Although their relationship - after John returns from war - never really settles down into a happy, loving and close connection they got ‘married anyway’ (key passage pg 45). This decision seems to come from Kathy’s guilt. During war when John was serving his country as an honourable soldier, Kathy scrutinised his service to their country by betraying him and having a relationship with another man. This may have resulted in Kathy feeling she owed him something and at the very least- her love.

War
When John went to fight the war in Vietnam he and Kathy were separated for two years and this resulted in their relationship becoming distant. During the time John was at war Kathy felt that she had changed and that she needed someone who would treat her differently to how John treated her. Kathy felt that she needed John to realise what she wanted out of life and this lead Kathy to having an affair with the Dentist “That’s what the whole stupid fling was about – to make you see what you were losing” (Key passage page 187). In a letter to John, Kathy explained that she was seeing a “couple of guys”, however made it clear that it was “nothing serious” and told him that “I love you and I think we can be wonderful together”. This also lead to Kathy explaining to John that “we have to be looser with each other, not so wound up or something- you can’t squeeze me so much, I need it feel like I’m not a puppet or something”. (Key passage page 105-106)

In another one of the letters Kathy and John exchanged during war Kathy told John that he “scared” (Key passage page 39) her. This was because John had told her of his tricks at war and how his fellow soldiers believed he was a “witch doctor”. This worried Kathy about his magic because she said “one of these days you’ll make me disappear” (Page 38).

“Love wasn’t enough. Which was the truth. The saddest thing of all”.

by Hannah & Maddy